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偶成微型十四行二题

 

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                          遵医嘱

 

                          一天一片

                          一片一天

                          十天一版

                          转眼就完

 

                           时光流逝

                           生命续延

                           生活美好

                           世界新鲜

 

                            几多风景

                            几多悲欢

                            几多缱绻

                            几多眷恋

 

                            有人难舍

                            有事待办

 

                              欲  问

 

                             夜深了

                             靠在灯柱上

                             还等什么呢

 

                              这么早

                              倚在树身上

                              在等什么呢

 

                              怎么不回去

                              有不有家园

                              怎么忒孤单

                              有不有侣伴

 

                               从晚等到早

                               从早等到晚

                               就这样无奈

                               能不能改变

            *说是"微型",因为每行都很短;第二首为复合式,且节式也与一般的"4442"和"4433"式组合不同.

[此贴子已经被作者于2008-10-29 9:12:37编辑过]

不同意楼上所改,觉得伤了自然。

 

 

___我意也是不改好.

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冲淡平和自然的语言

 

这是很难的,我还差得远.

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