I Would Live In Your Love与爱共生

齐云

I Would Live In Your Love

By Sara Tealsdale

I would live in your love as the sea-grasses live in the sea,
  Borne up by each wave as it passes, drawn down by each wave that recedes;
I would empty my soul of the dreams that have gathered in me,
  I would beat with your heart as it beats, I would follow your soul as it leads.

与爱共生

文/莎拉•蒂斯黛尔  译/齐云

我愿与你的爱共生，如同海草活在海中
   潮涨之时我也振奋，潮落之时我也消沉

我愿把心一清而空  放弃往昔追逐的梦
   让我心脏与你共振  让我灵魂随你灵魂



译后记：修行若有这样的恋爱精神，必定证道！

柳渡

短小却感人！在蒂斯代尔的作品中别具一格吧。拔高译出句中韵，比原作的感染力强！
“我愿与你的爱共生”，若也译成其他所有分句一样的四四顿，是不是更完美啊。