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齐云自译《土地》

The Land

The land I’m talking, covers by soil,
The black is rich and suitable for growing grain,
The red is poor and able to plant tea,
The grey is paddy soil that stretches on the vast plain.

It grows crops, grass and forest,
With flower in spring, fruit in fall,
Was burned with wildfire, tilled by our forefathers,
Was defended when enemies trampled on.

Land, food, water and air,
That's enough for me, then I'd like
To be born, grow up and die naturally,
At last the land will grow a grave for me.


土地
我说的土地,覆满土壤
黑色的肥沃,宜于种粮
红色的贫瘠,用来栽茶
灰色的水稻土,绵延在广阔平原上

长着庄稼、野草、森林
春天开花,秋天结果
野火焚烧,祖先耕耘
敌人践踏时,有人用生命保卫过

土地,粮食,水和空气
有这些足矣,然后就让我
自然地出生、衰老、死去
土地,会长出一个小小的坟坡
手握灵珠,心开天籁

是很好。我有些最简单的语法错误都难避免,希望多译一些后会有进步。按一江所说改之。
手握灵珠,心开天籁

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这样切磋好!

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有几处需要改动。只帮你改语法阿:
第一节第一句:covers with soil改为is covered by soil; 第三句:able to plant 不是to planting
第二节第一句: 建议weds改为grass; 第二句加一个with在起首,建议bears改为fruit; 第四句depended 可是defended?
最后一节第二句:That's enough for me. I'd like接下一句,在die前加and;把最后一句的then换成at last, the land....
还有一些其他细节,我现在在学校,不能上qq,回家后再跟你聊。

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